Just because you’ve always done something one way doesn’t mean it’s the right way. Remember how much your life improved when you finally gave up super-lowrise jeans, dating only bad boys, and dial-up modems? Relationship experts say that ditching the following seven love rules can be just as liberating, maybe more.OLD RULE: DON’T BE A JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND
A lot of women think they’ll seem neurotic and needy if they act jealous. So when, say, a woman flirts with her man, many women may decide just to grit their teeth and play it cool to prove how secure they are.
NEW RULE: ACT A LITTLE TERRITORIAL
A couldn’t-care-less act can backfire, because a total absence of jealousy can be seen by your guy as a sign that you aren’t investing in the relationship. No, you can’t go all fatal attraction every time he comes into contact with another woman, but it is OK to casually point out specific things that irk you like when a friend flirts with him or he repeatedly brings up a female co-worker you distrust.
OLD RULE: NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY
You are trained to talk it out when there’s tension because you want resolution.
NEW RULE: SLEEP ON A PROBLEM
Heat-of-the-moment discussions can spiral out of control quickly. When you force an issue, you blab without having thought out what you need to say, which increases the chance that you’ll both blurt out things you’ll regret later. And that’s doubly true if you’re tired. Sleeping on it first allows you to sort out what points are truly important. It also lets you decompress so that you’ll be calmer and more rational when you make your case. Just say, “I’m irritated and need time away.” It can be smart to acquiesce if he’s asking for a recess, too. Instead of insisting that you hash it out at that moment, schedule a time to readdress the issue. Saying “Let’s talk about this tomorrow after work” makes it clear that you intend to revisit
the conversation ...
and that he’s not off the hook.
OLD RULE: CRUSHING ON OTHER GUYS IS CHEATING
Unlike men, who feel free to ogle away at chicks without the slightest sense of remorse, women have a tendency to overthink a fleeting flirtation or lusty attraction to other men. Some women worry that they’re betraying their boyfriends or that it’s a sign that something is wrong in their relationship. So, they ignore the compliments they get or look through that handsome guy in office. The end result is that you get all the guilt of an illicit affair without any of the fun.
NEW RULE: AN INNOCENT FANTASY CAN FUEL YOUR LOVE LIFE
The juiced-up feeling you get from a clandestine crush can be good for your existing twosome. The reason? You start to feel like that foxy, flirtatious single girl you used to be (the one your man found so irresistibly hot), and he reaps the benefits of your reawakened excitement.
OLD RULE: ALWAYS TRY TO WOW HIM IN THE SACK
You like to spend a lot of time cooking up ways to blow your guy’s mind between the sheets, which, to be clear, is a very good thing. The danger begins if you focus on pleasing him to the point where you don’t get your own O-zone needs met. Women sometimes have a hard time articulating what they want, particularly in bed.
NEW RULE: BE SELFISH BETWEEN THE SHEETS
Men pride themselves on being able to get you off, so even though it seems like a giving nature would provide him with the ultimate gratification, you’ll actually erode his sexual ego over time if he thinks your toes aren’t curling, too. If you’re not satisfied, you both end up unhappy. The solution is easy, even if you’re too shy to say outright what you like.
OLD RULE: YOU HAVE TO SHARE THE SAME INTERESTS
Some couples mistakenly think that being on the same page and being close means taking an active interest in all of each other’s pastimes.
NEW RULE: SOLO TIME BOOSTS YOUR BOND
Forcing yourself to participate in his random hobbies dilutes your interactions. You get bored and ask him lots of questions, and he feels uncomfortable because he knows you’re not really interested. Conversely, pressuring him to take part in your extracurriculars will just make him resentful. Enjoy your interests on your own.
