What to do if the table is improperly set:
Don’t rearrange an improperly arranged place setting and offend the hostess. In a restaurant, where an improperly set table does not reflect on the skills of the host, quietly rearrange the ware for comfort.
Where to place the hands when eating:
To avoid creating an obstruction to your dinner partner, when holding a utensil, rest your other hand in your lap. When not holding any utensils, both hands remain in the lap.
Do one thing at a time:
If you want to sip your wine, temporarily rest your fork or knife on the plate.
Resist the urge:
To create a relaxed ambience, resist the urge to fidget. For cleanliness, keep the hands away from the face and hair.
Posture:
Good posture at the table means sitting straight with the back rested slightly against the back of the chair. To avoid spills, lean over the plate each time you take a bite. Never tip a chair backward. Avoid wrapping your feet around the legs of the chair. Refrain from leaning back and extending your legs under the table, putting your arm on the back of a dinner partner’s chair, or looping your arm around the back of the chair. To do otherwise, blocks service and obstructs others from the conversation.
Elbows and forearms off the table:
To avoid crowding one’s dinner partner during a meal, the elbows remain close to the body and off the table. To prevent a barrier to conversation, the forearm and hand are not wrapped around the plate. But between courses, in the interest of hearing conversation at a crowded or noisy table, the elbows are rested on the table so one may lean forward, or the wrist and forearm are placed on the edge of the table.
Reaching at the table:
To keep from creating an obstruction for others at the table, reach only for ware close enough to grasp in one fluid motion. Otherwise, ask a guest to pass it to you.
Dealing with disagreeable food:
When food that you don’t like or can’t eat is served, rather than make an issue, take a small portion. Place the portion on the plate, and eat a small amount (or none at all). To compensate, take larger portions of other foods. For a severe allergy, say, ‘No, thank you’. At a buffet, take only the foods you like.
Spilled food:
When a guest spills food at a formal affair, a butler takes the appropriate action. But at an informal meal, the diner quickly lifts the food with a utensil and places it on the side of his plate. However, if food is spilled on another guest, the diner apologises and offers to pay for cleaning.
How large a portion to take from a platter:
When a platter of pre-sliced food is presented, and each slice is an ample size, take one serving. But if the slices are small, and it looks as if there are enough servings for each guest to have two, take two for yourself. As a courtesy to the last guest, make sure to leave enough food on the platter so he or she has a choice from several portions.
To refuse a beverage:
Do not wave the hands or cover up a glass or turn a cup upside down, simply say, ‘No thank you.’ When a guest refuses a glass of wine, see that he or she is given a glass of water.
Second helping:
At a formal affair, a multi-course menu is served that precludes the need to offer second helpings. However, at an informal meal, the menu is simpler and second helpings are encouraged. If the hostess does not offer second helpings, do not ask for them.
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