Dating Someone With Children

Dating can be complicated enough on it’s own but when there are children involved things can get even trickier.

Many people shy away from starting a relationship with a partner who already has children and many singles with children are also apprehensive about starting a relationship. While dating a person with children can lead to a wonderful relationship it is important to exercise caution to ensure that the children are not hurt by the relationship. While the existence of children in a dating situation does complicate things, it does not have to destine the relationship to failure.

Deciding when to meet the children of the person you are dating is a crucial element of the equation. It is not necessary to meet the children on the first date. Doing so can be confusing to the children if the relationship does not progress and you are soon out of the picture. While it is important that the person you are dating disclose that they have children, meeting them is not a necessary first step. It’s important that the relationship has a chance to grow before bringing the children into the equation.

After all, while the children may be an important part of your partner’s life, you have to have some time to decide if you think this is a worthwhile relationship before deciding if you want to become a parental figure in the children’s lives. If you have been dating for awhile and things are starting to become more serious, now would be a good time to meet your partner’s children and get to know them as well. You don’t want to rush into meeting the children too early in your relationship but you also don’t want to wait too long either. Waiting until marriage plans are already under way will leave the children feeling helpless and powerless about the situation. Meeting the children of the person you are dating is an important step in your relationship and the timing of this step is also very important.

More at : http://relationshipbox.com

Top 10 lies men tell to...

You may rearrange the ranks !

10. No, you don’t look fat.

9. I don’t enjoy going to pubs and bars.

8. We’ll talk about it later.

7. You remind me of Jennifer Lopez.

6. I love your cooking.

5. I don’t think of other women.

4. You can use my razor to shave your legs.

3. I love romantic movies.

2. I love spending time with your mom.

1. I’m sorry.

The must haves for woman about sex !

1. EVERY WOMAN HAS A SUREFIRE HAPPY-MAKING POSITION—FIND YOURS
By all means, try new things, mix it up, find an alternate use for things at hand if it adds to the variety—figure out your no-fail move or position so you can always have an orgasm when you need one.

2. THAT POSITION MAY CHANGE
Maybe in your misspent youth you were all about acrobatics and funky props, but now you strive for a deep connection with your guy. (Or maybe it’s the other way around!) What you crave, both physically and emotionally, can shift over time.

3. HE DOESN’T HAVE A FLAW-O-METER
That would be you scanning your body for an errant paunch or a dimple in the wrong place. During sexual arousal, men are experiencing such a neurochemical cocktail rush, they’re really just caught up in the intoxication of it all. In other words, he’s too overwhelmed with joy to notice your flaws.

4. SEX IN A SOFT, CLEAN, COMFY BED IS UNDERRATED
You’re supposed to want to do it on the kitchen floor, in the airplane bathroom, and hanging from your light fixtures. Bah! There’s no shame in enjoying your good sheets.

5. SEX CLICHÉS ARE CLICHÉS FOR A REASON: THEY WORK
Get a hotel room. Have date night. Take a bubble bath. For God’s sake, buy some scented candles!

6. EVERYONE ELSE IS NOT HAVING MORE (OR BETTER) SEX THAN YOU ARE
There is no normal amount we should all aspire to, no magic number of times per month that signifies your relationship is hunky-dory.

7. ASKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT IS WORTH THE EMBARRASSMENT
What’s a brief awkward moment of sounding like one of those women at the end of a helpline number compared to, well, getting what you need?

8. YOU NEED TRANSITION TIME INTO SEX
Look at all the people who want a piece of you—your kid, your client, the guy who’s supposed to be renovating your kitchen. So don’t expect to make the leap from corporate exec or general contractor or mommy-on-the-spot to sex goddess without a little time to reassemble yourself. When you’re done with the dinner dishes, take a shower—alone—or read a book.

9. THE MORE SEX YOU HAVE, THE MORE YOU WANT
It’s simple: Delicious recent memories make you want to reenact the fun. But the reverse is also often true—if you go too
long without, you forget how much you like it.

10. WORRYING ABOUT YOUR ORGASM IS THE BEST WAY TO CHASE IT AWAY
When your mind is roiling, it’s not happening... concentrate.... he’ll think he failed... what’s wrong with me? you’re thinking, not feeling. Focus on the lovely physical sensations instead and soon you won’t be able to think straight in a good way.

11. PLANNED SEX CAN BE EVEN BETTER THAN SPONTANEOUS SEX
Anticipation as foreplay. Think about it.

12. HE DOESN’T NEED YOU TO KNOW ANY FANCY TECHNIQUES
There are many paths to male orgasm. As long as you pay attention to his reactions, refrain from inflicting pain (unless invited to) and don’t do anything involving teeth (again, unless he asks), you won’t hear any complaints.

13. SOMETIMES WHAT YOUR BODY LUSTS FOR MOST IS SLEEP
An off night or a dry spell doesn’t mean your relationship is tanking. It usually means you have children or a demanding job or you need to be alone in your head. Go ahead, take the night off.

14. BUT SOMETIMES ‘JUST DO IT’ REALLY DOES WORK
If you wait to be struck with a spontaneous urge to tear his clothes off, you may be waiting a very long time. But if you simply decide to give it a go, your body (and your desire) will often catch up.

15. YOUR BIRTH CONTROL METHOD IS NOT TILL DEATH DO US PART
You need to reevaluate your pregnancyprevention method at least twice in your adult life, when you go from wild woman to a mutually monogamous relationship, and after you have children. Your body changes post-baby and your habits may change, too.

16. PAIN DURING INTERCOURSE IS NOT NORMAL
Occasional discomfort may just mean that you’re tense or haven’t had enough foreplay, but if sex hurts often, see your doctor. It could be as simple as a low-grade urinary tract infection.

17. SEX IS HOW HE SHOWS LOVE
It’s an age-old problem: We gals need to feel cozy and loving to want to have sex, and guys need to have sex to access those cozy and loving feelings. A lot of guys don’t have many outlets for communication, and for them sex is a powerful form of emotional expression.

18. NO MATTER HOW BADLY YOU WANT TO CUDDLE AND FALL ASLEEP, YOU GOT TO GET UP AND PEE AFTER SEX
So you don’t get a urinary tract infection.

Courtsy : Times of India

True Lies about Marriage !

LIE 1: ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE
Marital bliss is a myth. The type of unconditional love that one has for their own children, doesn’t and shouldn’t exist between marital partners. We live in a culture that stresses a preoccupation with personal happiness above all and a belief that marriage is the solution to life’s problems and essential for personal happiness. This type of thinking leaves people unskilled in developing and managing intimate relationships and couples who have little appreciation for the true difficulties and complexities of married life.

LIE 2: I TALK ALL THE TIME; MY SPOUSE JUST DOESN’T LISTEN
Most of us talk ourselves to death but we actually communicate very poorly. We are encouraged to be open about our feelings but very few of us know how to speak or listen effectively. Relationship experts advise us to tell it like it is and be brutally honest to our partners but the truth is that brutal honesty often encourages brutality more than honesty. Spouses use their version of the truth to bludgeon their partners into submission.

LIE 3: PEOPLE DON’T REALLY CHANGE
Many today believe that deep down, people can’t change much or that nothing in a marriage can change unless both partners change. These incorrect and pessimistic beliefs sabotage efforts to improve the marriage. Most people go about trying to change their relationships in unproductive ways, get frustrated by the results and then claim that this outcome proves that people don’t change, but even if one partner is adamantly set against change, there’s a lot the other partner can do.

LIE 4: WHEN YOU MARRY, YOU CREATE YOUR OWN FAMILY LEGACY
You may live far away from your family of origin, but now that you have your own family, their grip on you is tighter than ever. When we become husbands, wives
and parents, the models and issues we saw within our families of origin emerge and take over our relationships. Our grandparents were likely to live close to their parents (if not in the same house), see each other often and stay personally involved in each other’s lives. Today, in our highly mobile society, we tend to live farther from our parents. Paradoxically, their influence may be greater than ever. Spouses who don’t appreciate the power their original families exert on their values and styles tend to face problems in their marriages.

LIE 5: EGALITARIAN MARRIAGE IS EASIER THAN TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE
In the newer, egalitarian model of marriage, the expectation is that while not every chore will be split halfway, family responsibilities should be divided fairly, and decisionmaking power will be shared. The husband in this model respects his wife’s work and shares in family life, never insisting on being in control based on financial earnings or gender. Equality in theory is wonderful; in reality, but spouses in trouble often are conflicted over gender role expectations and responsibilities.

LIE 6: CHILDREN SOLIDIFY A MARRIAGE
Let’s speak the unspeakable: Children are an enormous threat to your marriage. It’s very, very difficult to admit that the children you love so much can drive a wedge into your life as a couple. However,
the reality is that in a world where spouses already work too hard and don’t spend enough time with each other, the addition of children usually eats up the remaining physical and emotional energy you had for each other. Even when you love your children fiercely, even when you think you are prepared for the tremendous dislocation they would cause, children can tear your marriage down to its bedrock.

Popping pleasure !

Stress relief, diet aid, lucky charm: few can resist the allure of bubble wrap and now a Japanese company is finding new reasons to pop till you drop.

In Japan, the plastic packaging material is best known by a local brand-name Puti Puti, pronounced "poochy-poochy", and Kawakami Sangyo Co, its biggest manufacturer, has set up the Puti Puti Culture Laboratory dedicated to finding unusual uses for it.

"I think about Puti Puti almost every waking hour," said Ayaka Sugiyama, the head of the laboratory whose hobbies include singing in a five-person band called "Puti Metal".

"I'm not an expert in psychology, but it is said that if people see a chair, they want to sit in it. If they see a button on an intercom, they want to push it," she said.

"It's the same with Puti Puti. The bubbles stick out, so you want to squash them."

Hoping to tap into Puti Puti's appeal, Sugiyama started jotting down notes on unusual uses of the packaging material about seven years ago and the ideas were compiled in a "Puti Puti Official Book" published last year.

Among the suggestions are injecting the bubbles with coloured ink to create mosaic-like artwork, sitting on the sheets at picnics, sewing them into in a wedding dress and -- this from an 85-year-old woman -- popping bubbles to help prevent senility.

Kawakami Sangyo teamed up with toy maker Bandai Corp to develop a Mugen Puti Puti, or an "infinite pop pop" key chain with eight re-poppable bubbles -- although Puti Puti purist Sugiyama admits the sensation isn't the same as the real thing.

Sugiyama, a slender 30-year-old, says she sometimes pops Puti Puti bubbles while watching TV as a way to keep her hands busy and refrain from munching junk food.

Kawakami Sangyo, whose main customers for Puti Puti are manufacturers, is creating products aimed at retail consumers.

"Pucchin Sukatto", a box of small bubble wrap sheets developed solely for popping, went on sale at convenience stores for 198 yen ($1.78) in October and a "Puti Puti Calendar" comes with a square bubble on each day of the month.

"For those who think one Puti Puti per day is not enough, there are extras at the end of each month," Sugiyama said.

Kawakami Sangyo also includes one heart-shaped bubble per every 10,000 on ordinary wrapping for good luck -- sort of like a four-leaf clover -- and offers special sheets of giant bubbles that make a startlingly loud cracking noise when popped.

The company is now trying to develop star-shaped bubbles as well as scented Puti Puti, though both have proven tricky.

"The scent doesn't last," Sugiyama said of the efforts so far to make strawberry-scented Puti Puti.

"But we're still trying. Bursting the bubbles makes you feel calm and reduces stress and if there were a scent, it would be even more soothing."

Indonesia finds death Entertaining !

Indonesian mourners wearing black congregate by a lawn-fringed plot here on the outskirts of the capital, Jakarta, as they await the arrival of the body of their relative and friend. Once the funeral service is over, they have the choice of taking a dip in the Olympic-size pool nearby, rowing a boat across the lake or, in the nottoo-distant future, having lunch at an Italian restaurant.
In a city where the dead literally face eviction if their relatives fail to pay regular fees for the upkeep of their final resting place, a new and vast cemetery-cumentertainment complex aims to fill a niche for the rich. With helicopters to cut hours off a road trip to this sprawling facility 46 km outside traffic-clogged Jakarta, the ambition of the developers is clear. So far, just 25 hectares out of a planned 500 have been developed at San Diego Hills Memorial Park. Manicured walkways and tree-shaded roads wind through the hilly compound, a world away from the public cemeteries which are often unkempt. “We are inspired by the memorial park concept from the US and Europe, where the beauty of well-maintained and manicured lawns removes the eerie feeling usually found in traditional cemeteries,’’ said Suziany Japardy, an associate director of San Diego Hills.

Open the bottle with style !

No party is complete without wine. So, it is important to learn how to open that wine bottle just right, with style !

While serving wine at a party has become a norm, there are still some who shy away from opening a bottle right away. Simply because they do not know how to open one. It’s actually pretty simple to open a bottle of wine. These steps are for a doubleaction (or wing) corkscrew, which has two arms (or wings) that help lever the cork out of the bottle.

Remove the top of the lead or foil capsule by cutting around the rim of the bottle with the sharp point of the corkscrew. The arms of the corkscrew will have to be raised for this step. You can also make a slit in the foil and remove the whole capsule before beginning. Stand the bottle on a flat, hard surface at mid-chest level or lower. Lower the arms of the corkscrew. Holding the corkscrew as vertically and straight as possible, place the sharp end into the middle of the cork. Securely grasp the top of the bottle and the lower end of the corkscrew with one hand. With the other hand, begin turning the handle of the corkscrew clock-wise, applying an even, constant downward pressure into the cork. As the corkscrew goes into the cork, its arms will begin to rise. Apply more pressure if the corkscrew will not penetrate the cork. Keep turning the handle until the arms of the corkscrew are completely raised and the screw is well into the cork. With one hand on each arm of the corkscrew, press the arms down. This will lift the cork out of the bottle. Wrap your hand around the base of the corkscrew and lift straight up. Remove the foil, if necessary. Twist the cork off the corkscrew.

Wipe the rim of the bottle with a damp towel before serving, to remove any stray pieces of cork and, more importantly, any lead left by the foil. Avoid corkscrews that penetrate the cork with a solid, ridged metal screw, which can tear it apart. Instead, use a corkscrew with a metal spiral resembling a cartoon pig’s tail.

Tribute to a master : Yaad-E-Bismillah !

The concept and our understanding of good music is changing so much these days and this docu-drama will evoke memories of what happened during earlier times when a student went to learn music from her or his guruji.

Yaad-e-Bismillah begins with Ustad Bismillah’s journey to his maternal uncle’s house during Id and how the three-year-old boy fell in love with the shehnai.His uncle understood his talent and kept the young boy with him, treating him like a son and giving him the necessary education in music.Soma’s husband filmmaker Subhankar Ghosh, himself a national award winner, has written and directed the docu-drama tribute.

Ustad Bismillah Khan was born as Qumaruddin Khan in Dumraom in Bihar. When his grandfather first saw him, he exclaimed and said: ‘Bismillah!’ That name stuck to Baba for the rest of his life.

<<Ustad Bismillah Khan saab with his elder brother

The young Bismillah loved to listen to music at the kothas of Benaras. He was very fond of listening to baijis including Siddheswari Devi, Rasullan Bai, Batholan Bai, Janki Bai, Bari Moti and Chhoti Moti. His uncle would also go there. In fact, baijis used to keep a laddoo for the young Bismillah. Of course, his family wasn’t too happy with the fact that he went to listen to music at Dalmandi. I remember him talking about how he would jump from one boat to another when the baijis performed on barges on the Ganges. On one barge, there would be Rasullan bai. The other would have Bari Moti. During the 1920s, he said he would also get good money. “Mujhe chawanni milti thi. Kabhie kabhie toh mujhe do rupaiya bhi milte the!’ He would wear a turban and sit to play. Rose petals would be strewn all over and the place would smell of attar. There would be arrangements for mithai, laddoo and pakhwan for all the performing artistes. In those days, it was more of a feast. I had often heard him say: ‘Ajkal toh raag jung hota hai. Pahle, umang hota tha!’ As far as the music goes, he liked the spiritual style of music of Siddheswari Devi. The profound earthiness in Bari Moti and Rasullan Bai’s music also impressed him a lot. Yet, his brother Samsuddin didn’t really appreciate his going to listen to the baijis. He rebuked him, fearing that his escapades would bring shame to the family. But Baba was bowled by the baijis’ music.

Related Link - In Remembrance ! ( Ustadji )

Love,Lust,Forever !

People sometimes say that they know a couple married for 20 years whose sex life is still as good as if they were just married. Here’s what you should tell them—If that’s the case, there are only three possibilities: One, the couple is lying; two, they didn’t have good sex to begin with or three, sex is all they really have together, they never connected emotionally. Well, sharing lives is very different from sharing dinners, long walks or weekends. When you were dating the man you ultimately married, you were both acting most of the times, always putting your best foot forward. When you were dating, if you complained to him about your day not going well, he would take your hand and ask, “Tell me what happened.” Now, after marriage, when he asks how your day was, you will simply snap a quick, “Fine,” and leave it at that. And, hey, he is happy to leave it at that too. Why? Because when you are living with someone 24/7, it’s difficult to be adoring or keep up the aura of mystery. Here are some truths about sex, for most married couples:

LOVE IS CONSTANT, PASSION IS NOT Everything in the universe eventually demagnetises when left close to something of the opposite charge. Magnets do. So do men and women. Some people fall out of lust in seven days, never mind seven years or 17! Basic animal attraction is a force of nature that seems designed to make us mate. Relaxing in our marriages and freeing ourselves from the pressure of trying to impress our partners has a predictable outcome. Our partners are not impressed. The magnetic spell we once cast on them begins to waver. And causes the loss of passion.

COSY IS COMFY, BUT NOT SEXY The more familiar men and women get with each other, the more they cease to be princes and princesses, gods and goddesses who evoke romantic fantasies or inspire amorous worship. Since couples lucky enough to be emotionally genuine with each other share so many real moments, they need to pay special attention to creating magical moments—because great sex requires magic. You can have a close marriage and recapture a good sex life—but only once you admit that reigniting romance takes creativity and a dedicated amount of time and energy.

INTIMACY IS NOT EQUAL TO SEX When a man and a woman reveal themselves to each other, it makes each person feel more vulnerable. And, particularly for men, it’s hard to have amazing sex while feeling emotionally exposed. Our earliest experiences with being intimate comes from our relationships with our parents. And those relationships are asexual. That’s why some husbands and wives are open about what pleases them sexually only when they have affairs. They feel as if they have to be free of family to be free with their amorous impulses. Change that by treating your spouse as your lover instead!