True Lies about Marriage !

LIE 1: ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE
Marital bliss is a myth. The type of unconditional love that one has for their own children, doesn’t and shouldn’t exist between marital partners. We live in a culture that stresses a preoccupation with personal happiness above all and a belief that marriage is the solution to life’s problems and essential for personal happiness. This type of thinking leaves people unskilled in developing and managing intimate relationships and couples who have little appreciation for the true difficulties and complexities of married life.

LIE 2: I TALK ALL THE TIME; MY SPOUSE JUST DOESN’T LISTEN
Most of us talk ourselves to death but we actually communicate very poorly. We are encouraged to be open about our feelings but very few of us know how to speak or listen effectively. Relationship experts advise us to tell it like it is and be brutally honest to our partners but the truth is that brutal honesty often encourages brutality more than honesty. Spouses use their version of the truth to bludgeon their partners into submission.

LIE 3: PEOPLE DON’T REALLY CHANGE
Many today believe that deep down, people can’t change much or that nothing in a marriage can change unless both partners change. These incorrect and pessimistic beliefs sabotage efforts to improve the marriage. Most people go about trying to change their relationships in unproductive ways, get frustrated by the results and then claim that this outcome proves that people don’t change, but even if one partner is adamantly set against change, there’s a lot the other partner can do.

LIE 4: WHEN YOU MARRY, YOU CREATE YOUR OWN FAMILY LEGACY
You may live far away from your family of origin, but now that you have your own family, their grip on you is tighter than ever. When we become husbands, wives
and parents, the models and issues we saw within our families of origin emerge and take over our relationships. Our grandparents were likely to live close to their parents (if not in the same house), see each other often and stay personally involved in each other’s lives. Today, in our highly mobile society, we tend to live farther from our parents. Paradoxically, their influence may be greater than ever. Spouses who don’t appreciate the power their original families exert on their values and styles tend to face problems in their marriages.

LIE 5: EGALITARIAN MARRIAGE IS EASIER THAN TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE
In the newer, egalitarian model of marriage, the expectation is that while not every chore will be split halfway, family responsibilities should be divided fairly, and decisionmaking power will be shared. The husband in this model respects his wife’s work and shares in family life, never insisting on being in control based on financial earnings or gender. Equality in theory is wonderful; in reality, but spouses in trouble often are conflicted over gender role expectations and responsibilities.

LIE 6: CHILDREN SOLIDIFY A MARRIAGE
Let’s speak the unspeakable: Children are an enormous threat to your marriage. It’s very, very difficult to admit that the children you love so much can drive a wedge into your life as a couple. However,
the reality is that in a world where spouses already work too hard and don’t spend enough time with each other, the addition of children usually eats up the remaining physical and emotional energy you had for each other. Even when you love your children fiercely, even when you think you are prepared for the tremendous dislocation they would cause, children can tear your marriage down to its bedrock.

Man, Woman & Manners : At a formal dinner !

What to do if the table is improperly set:
Don’t rearrange an improperly arranged place setting and offend the hostess. In a restaurant, where an improperly set table does not reflect on the skills of the host, quietly rearrange the ware for comfort.

Where to place the hands when eating:
To avoid creating an obstruction to your dinner partner, when holding a utensil, rest your other hand in your lap. When not holding any utensils, both hands remain in the lap.


Do one thing at a time:
If you want to sip your wine, temporarily rest your fork or knife on the plate.

Resist the urge:
To create a relaxed ambience, resist the urge to fidget. For cleanliness, keep the hands away from the face and hair.

Posture:
Good posture at the table means sitting straight with the back rested slightly against the back of the chair. To avoid spills, lean over the plate each time you take a bite. Never tip a chair backward. Avoid wrapping your feet around the legs of the chair. Refrain from leaning back and extending your legs under the table, putting your arm on the back of a dinner partner’s chair, or looping your arm around the back of the chair. To do otherwise, blocks service and obstructs others from the conversation.

Elbows and forearms off the table:
To avoid crowding one’s dinner partner during a meal, the elbows remain close to the body and off the table. To prevent a barrier to conversation, the forearm and hand are not wrapped around the plate. But between courses, in the interest of hearing conversation at a crowded or noisy table, the elbows are rested on the table so one may lean forward, or the wrist and forearm are placed on the edge of the table.

Reaching at the table:
To keep from creating an obstruction for others at the table, reach only for ware close enough to grasp in one fluid motion. Otherwise, ask a guest to pass it to you.

Dealing with disagreeable food:
When food that you don’t like or can’t eat is served, rather than make an issue, take a small portion. Place the portion on the plate, and eat a small amount (or none at all). To compensate, take larger portions of other foods. For a severe allergy, say, ‘No, thank you’. At a buffet, take only the foods you like.

Spilled food:
When a guest spills food at a formal affair, a butler takes the appropriate action. But at an informal meal, the diner quickly lifts the food with a utensil and places it on the side of his plate. However, if food is spilled on another guest, the diner apologises and offers to pay for cleaning.

How large a portion to take from a platter:
When a platter of pre-sliced food is presented, and each slice is an ample size, take one serving. But if the slices are small, and it looks as if there are enough servings for each guest to have two, take two for yourself. As a courtesy to the last guest, make sure to leave enough food on the platter so he or she has a choice from several portions.

To refuse a beverage:
Do not wave the hands or cover up a glass or turn a cup upside down, simply say, ‘No thank you.’ When a guest refuses a glass of wine, see that he or she is given a glass of water.

Second helping:
At a formal affair, a multi-course menu is served that precludes the need to offer second helpings. However, at an informal meal, the menu is simpler and second helpings are encouraged. If the hostess does not offer second helpings, do not ask for them.

Most talked Uncoupling in tinsel world !

Everyone believed their relationship was for life long.

Years of steadfast commitment and people thought theirs was an affair set in stone. So when the Kareena-Shahid love story which went awry was splashed in media, many dismissed it as a publicity ploy to promote the pair’s forthcoming flick.

While that’s a thought, it wouldn’t be too wrong to suggest splitsville as another name for Bollywood/Hollywood. Here are the some famous break ups in tinsel world:

SAHEED KAPOOR - KAREENA KAPOOR

AISHWARYA RAI – SALMAN KHAN/VIVEK OBEROI

AAMIR KHAN – REENA

YUVRAJ SINGH – KIM SHARMA

SAIF ALI KHAN – AMRITA SINGH/ROSA

JENNIFER ANISTON AND BRAD PITT

BRITNEY SPEARS – KEVIN FEDERLINE

TOM CRUISE – NICOLE KIDMAN

JEMIMA GOLDSMITH – IMRAN KHAN/HUGH GRANT

It's mostly about dalliances rather than alliances in the world of celluloid charmers.

Open the bottle with style !

No party is complete without wine. So, it is important to learn how to open that wine bottle just right, with style !

While serving wine at a party has become a norm, there are still some who shy away from opening a bottle right away. Simply because they do not know how to open one. It’s actually pretty simple to open a bottle of wine. These steps are for a doubleaction (or wing) corkscrew, which has two arms (or wings) that help lever the cork out of the bottle.

Remove the top of the lead or foil capsule by cutting around the rim of the bottle with the sharp point of the corkscrew. The arms of the corkscrew will have to be raised for this step. You can also make a slit in the foil and remove the whole capsule before beginning. Stand the bottle on a flat, hard surface at mid-chest level or lower. Lower the arms of the corkscrew. Holding the corkscrew as vertically and straight as possible, place the sharp end into the middle of the cork. Securely grasp the top of the bottle and the lower end of the corkscrew with one hand. With the other hand, begin turning the handle of the corkscrew clock-wise, applying an even, constant downward pressure into the cork. As the corkscrew goes into the cork, its arms will begin to rise. Apply more pressure if the corkscrew will not penetrate the cork. Keep turning the handle until the arms of the corkscrew are completely raised and the screw is well into the cork. With one hand on each arm of the corkscrew, press the arms down. This will lift the cork out of the bottle. Wrap your hand around the base of the corkscrew and lift straight up. Remove the foil, if necessary. Twist the cork off the corkscrew.

Wipe the rim of the bottle with a damp towel before serving, to remove any stray pieces of cork and, more importantly, any lead left by the foil. Avoid corkscrews that penetrate the cork with a solid, ridged metal screw, which can tear it apart. Instead, use a corkscrew with a metal spiral resembling a cartoon pig’s tail.

Women always prefer Gentlemen !

Is expectation of chivalry dead? If it is, is that a good thing? A new guide to chivalry for the modern man Manners for Men is selling like hot cakes abroad. The guide promises to equip any male with style and panache to confront every social challenge —from guidance on being an erotic lover and dealing with female bosses to training on how to open a door for a woman and how to play the date game. But are these old notions of etiquette valid in today’s world, where women claim to be second to none? Maybe, in today’s post-feminist society, it’s time to remind rules of etiquette and chivalry.

THE ETIQUETTE READY RECKONER FOR MEN :

*Maintain good hygiene; take care of body odour, use deo.

*Resist from lapsing into locker room conversations, swear words and slang .

*Use 'thank you' and 'please’ liberally.

*Treat female colleagues and friends with respect.

*Stop staring at the wrong places. Women know instinctively.